This Year in Review

I graduated!! Yay!!

I got skinny!!

We tailgated!!

We got the cutest little spawn of satan ever... Charlie!


I went to my first gay bar and had tons of fun!


I got a taste of my dream before kissing it goodbye!

Sure, things weren't perfect, but I can't complain. I hope your year was good too.

A long awaited post

So I've been wanting to update my blog and Flickr forever, but I've been so crazy! So I decided theres not time like the present. I will just update my blog here at work--the only problem is that I don't have my pics here to upload, so this post will be pictureless... sorry!

I signed up for the Disney Princess 5K right after my birthday (which is March 1st) on March 7th. I'm so excited!! I've always wanted to do a triathlon, but I HATE running with a strong passion, so I decided that doing a 5K would help me get ready for my eventual goal of a triathlon. I've been training for a week and a half now, and so far so good. So I tell Derek about this and its all peaches and cream. Then he presents me with a bit of a suprise. He got us tickets to see Robin Williams. His sister and brother in law are even going to come in from out of town to see him with us. Then I hear the date. Its March 6th. The night before my first 5K. DAMN IT! What are the odds? Ooo well! Hopefully it won't throw me off too much.

In other news, I'm only 1.6 lbs away from my first goal. I'm sooooo excited!

Below is the coolest device on the planet, and I'm getting it for Christmas!! I called my mom to see if she already got me a present and she hadn't so, since its a little bit expensive, we agreed to split it. Whoo Hoo! It will really help me train for my 5k and beyond. It can tell you how fast you are walking/running, how many calories you're burning, how far you've gone, and it comes with a heart strap so it can tell you your heart rate. I'm so excited!! Unfortunately I think I will be getting it in blue/grey, but thats because I ordered it off amazon and saved $30, so its all good.

Goodness! I know there is so much more to post, but I just can't think of it all right now. Just make sure to check your mailboxes because a super cute card is in the mail from me!

TTFN

Man its been a while! I have so much to post about but so little time. So I will leave you with promises of a lengthy post, and a little something silly I thought about while at the gym...

At what point does an elderly woman get her first old lady hair do? You know the one that looks like cotton candy. Does she go from long luxurious hair to the cotton candy all in one step, or is there a slower process? Just a thought.

TTFN

Yay! Heres the update after only 58 days of SparkPeople:
Starting-Now=Loss
Weight: 141-125.2= 15.8lbs!!!
Body Fat: 27.6%-23.3%= 4.3%!
Hips in inches: 36.5-32.5= 4inches!
Waist in inches: 34.0-28.5= 5.5inches!

Its amazing! I'm back to the weight that I was when Derek and I met 4 years ago. I'm so happy and proud of myself.

And now for something for those of you who are sick of hearing about my weight loss...

I am very much looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. Every other year is full of yelling, cursing and the debate over how many years I might serve if I kill my mom and whether or not that'd be worth it. (If they jury knew her, they'd pay me to do it!) But not this year! This year I will be enjoying a nice Thanksgiving with Sara and Brodie. Sara and I are both Sparkies and so we will be making a delicious and nutritious meal. Plus, we decided that afterword were going to check out Light Up UCF. Derek and I saw the light show when we went to the top of one of the UCF garages to see the shuttle launch, and its super sweet. We can't wait. Its so nice to finally look forward to a holiday.

I hope yours is as awesome as I plan on making mine!

TTFN

YAY!!!!!

I've now lost 13.2 pounds and am in the 120's again!!! YAY!!!! I'm so excited!

Skinny Bitches Watch Out! Theres About To Be A New Member in Your Club!

Yup, you've heard it right. I am well on my way to being a skinny bitch! Friday marked a month since I started working out and eating right. I weighed myself and I've now lost a total of 10 pounds!! In addition I've lost 2 inches off my hips, and I've thrown away my fat pants. WHOOO HOOOO!!! So, watch out guys, soon I'm gonna be boobs and bones!

In other news, I need your help. I have cracked my 5th 2L water bottle, and I can no longer find them in stores. I've looked in Walmart, Target, Sports Authority, and Bed Bath & Beyond. If you know of a place where I can buy a 2L water bottle PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

Finally, I'm super stoked about my Halloween party, and I hope you all are too!!

TTFN

Life Lately

So the past few weeks have been crazy, and theres no sign of stopping! We are nearly halfway through 7 straight weekends of plans. So heres how it has been going...

Last weekend we went to the UCF v UM game. Why UCF's offense even showed up is beyond me! Our only scores were thanks to the offense, and I now think our QB should be paying his tuition--after all he sure didn't earn it! It rained really bad during the tailgate, but our tent saved us. Overall it was really nice because we got to see my bro for his b-day and Derek's brother Kyle for the tailgate.

Charlie is getting so big! Hes definitely calming down, but that doesn't mean he isn't still a crazy kitty from time to time. As we were told would happen by some of our friends, his eyes changed color and are now a golden-green instead of blue, but he hasn't lost his stripes... yet!

In weight loss news, I used a body fat percentage machiene at the gym yesterday for the second time. Last time was about a month ago and I was at 26.7%, and now I'm at 24.6%! YAY!!! I'm doing and feeling great despite all this travel and craziness. YAY!!

TTFN

Almost Skinny

This is where my day ends every day. Its the place that has changed my life. Its Sparkpeople.com. Thanks to Sparkpeople.com, I know how to workout my whole body and can print up workouts or watch workout videos, I know how to eat in order to lose weight healthily, I've lost an inch off my hips, and I've lost 5 pounds. Today is exactly three weeks since I started using Sparkpeople.com and I'm happier than ever!!

If you decide to join the site, make sure to say that ugottalovemonie referred you... I'll get points!!

Evites in your Inbox!

Hey all! A ton has happened recently, but I'd rather not get into it all. On a happy note. You should now have an evite in your inbox for the next tailgate, and soon you'll have one for my Halloween party. If you didn't receive it, please make sure I have your email address!

TTFN

I Can Do It!

So I've really gotten serious about this whole losing weight thing. I've started counting calories, and I've uped my workouts to 4x a week. I also joined this site that the Dr I work for uses. Its called SparkPeople.com and it ROCKS!! You can track what you eat/drink, you can track your workouts, you can generate workouts for yourself, you can watch videos to show you how to do some of the exercises, you can find healthy recipes, it can tell you how many calories are in just about any food... and soo sooo sooooo much more! I feel like with this site I can really reach my goals. So watch out guys... a bit of me is going to disappear and never come back!

TTFN

My Car is Worth Less Than The Gas in The Tank

The Norburn Triplets
Originally uploaded by ugottalovemonie

So its been an interesting week. As you all know Jill had the triplets on Monday. Derek and I were super excited to go visit Jill and the babies, and were happy that they're doing as well as teeny-tiny babies can do. This is William, and after checking out the paddles he has for feet, word on the street is that he will be a swimmer--with my help that is. I'm looking forward to watching his interview with Bob Costas after winning a bunch of Golds when he says, "I owe it all to the wonderful lady who taught me how to swim Mrs. Simone." (The Mrs. here is the biggest stretch so far lol).

In other news Derek and I just got back from Miami. We went there because my friend is getting married (I'm her maid of honor) and it was her bridal shower. TALK ABOUT AWKARD! I was the only friend there. There was his family on one side, her family (blabbering in Portguese) on the other side, and me. It wasn't too bad because they're all friendly with one another and me, but her bachelorette party, which I have to plan, ought to be worse. It will basically be her and me because she lost all her friends when she started dating her fiancee. She shut them out and now they're gone. Hell I'm her maid of honor and I haven't even seen her in years! Sadly, my shower will most likely be like this, maybe plus one or 2 friends. I'm just so busy all the time people get sick of asking if I can hang out and so they stop asking. Its no fun having friends, so I pitied her and decided to go.

And heres the best part. This month I have spent $400 on my car. FOUR HUNDRED FREAKING DOLLARS! I just can't take it anymore, and my job is shitty so I'm not making enough to get a new car. So it looks like I might have to find a second job. When I'm going to do it I don't know, but I might have to figure that out.

TTFN

Tailgate Remix

Yay! I went to my first UCF homegame of the 2008 season! It rocked. It was a night game, so there was plenty, probabally too much, time to tailgate. I drank an entire bottle of Parrot Bay, and made a new and super awesome friend.


But the sad part about the tailgate was the stinky truth that it, and every other tailgate is about to change...


(sorry I tried 100x to fix it but it won't go the right way. My account even shows it the right way and then its the wrong way on my blog. Sorry!)

But never fear! Derek and I talked to Lisa and Rob (well ok Lisa and I talked), and we decided that were taking over the tailgate. It will not die! It'll be alot to take on because Jill and Chaz know how to rock it in style, and it might not be as snazzy. But it'll all be worth it! I paid for season tickets and damn it I'm gonna have a hell of a good time before all the games! So if you wana know where the partay is at, its in the same place, its just slightly more ghetto.

TTFN

Who Knew I'd Get Matched Up Against A 5-Year-Old And Lose

Laser Treatment #2

So a few days ago I got my second laser hair removal treatment. It was very exciting. Because it felt less than awesome round 1, I was prescribed numbing cream for round 2, but as I was receiving the treatment, I realized that there are some areas that I should have been more through with... note to self. I got uber lucky and get the awesome-est lady there though, I totally booked my next apt with her!

Ken & Shawn's Wedding

Ahhh weddings! The food, the dancing, and best of all, the bar! It was a blast, a hot blast because the reception was outdoors, but a blast no less. Their wedding gave me a really good look into (a) what you get for the money, (b) what I want/don't want, and (c) the details that I might have otherwise overlooked. It was really a beautiful wedding, and the hotel we stayed at rocked! The only downside to the whole weekend was that a freaking 5-year-old caught the damn bouquet. I mean seriously biotch you got time. You don't even have boobs yet and you still think boys have cooties. Give the girls who need it a chance!

Charlie understands English

Charlie
Originally uploaded by ugottalovemonie

So yesterday I had a little chat with Charlie discussing his unacceptable behavior and the fact that if it continued he would not be welcome in my home. Instantly he started cuddling with me, he followed me around, and he was purring like crazy. He even stopped being mean to TC and Layla. So he has shaped up, so were keeping him. I was concerned that he was going to be mean to me, TC and Layla and thats crap I didn't want to tolerate, but now that I know he understands me, I'll just let him know when I have a problem.

Pound Kitty?

Charlie
Originally uploaded by ugottalovemonie

So for the past 2 days Charlie has been like one of those cordial cherry things--delicious on the outside, and nasty as hell on the inside. Sure, hes cute and cuddly, but for whatever reason he doesn't like me. Not to mention he doesn't like our other 2 cats, and one of them doesn't like him. Its been annoying and stressful, and after a super shitty day today I just decided I'm over it. Derek is taking him to the shelter on Thursday for his shots (they're cheaper there than at the vet), and if he is still nasty to me by then, then he'll stay there. I just don't need anymore things that can stress me out of piss me off on a daily basis--thats why I have work.

So I can't sleep because Derek is upset about the whole situation, so I decided to give Charlie another try. Before he started his usual crap I informed him that if he didn't start acting nice his ass was going to the pound and he wasn't coming back. Its strange, but I think he understood me somehow because hes been really nice to me since I came to spend some time with him. I guess I'll decide tomorrow evening.

Charlie

Charlie
Originally uploaded by ugottalovemonie

There is a new love in my life and hes small and orange.

Yesterday we (meaning me and the people I work with) had a lunch with a drug rep at Fridays. Well my bosses are neighbor's with this guy so it was relaxed and we started drinking, and I got too drunk to drive home. So txted Derek and told him I would need a ride home. He instantly called and asked where I was. When I told him I was at Fridays, he told me he was at PetsMart in the same plaza.. sweet! So he came over and hung out with us for a few minutes, and then he says this: "I have a surprise for you in the car.. and its alive." WHAT?!?!?! Then he told me that while at a job today he saw this kitten outside in the tropical storm in a little corner and that the owners said that they aren't cat people and they were just going to leave it outside to die. So he decided to bring it home, and knowing that I had set a 2 cat max, he said he would take it to the shelter in the morning. Well when I saw this cat, the trip to the shelter was cancelled. He is the cutest tiniest little kitten in the world. And so, now we have Charlie. There are more pics of him on my Flickr, and more will come.

TTFN

(monotone voice) The sky is falling. The sky is falling.

So Fay was a flop. Big surprise. I've always said theres no reason to even call it a tropical storm/hurricane if its under a Cat 3. I've held swimming lessons in worse weather than yesterday's "pounding" by Fay.

In other news, I have said for a while that once things get settled, I would join a gym and get myself on track; however I have recently realized that in the crazy job I've got things will never settle down, so I'm going for it now. I joined LA Fitness. Its a pretty cool place. They have lots of equipment, a pool, a hot tub, a sauna, and really nice staff. After my first workout there I got a call from their personal training department saying that as a new member I was entitled to a free fitness evaluation with a personal trainer. So I went in yesterday (I wasn't letting Fay going to damper my day) filled out a questionnaire, found out that I have 27.6% body fat (yuck!), and with the assistance of my trainer I worked parts of my body that I didn't know existed. Good god am I sore today. Realizing that I know nothing about how I should be working out to achieve my goals or how to use any of the equipment, I decided that I needed further assistance from my trainer. So now once a month I will see my trainer who will measure me, tell me my body fat percentage, and give me my workouts for the month to help me reach my goal. I'm really excited about it. If anyone is at all interested in joining and being my workout buddy, they gave me some 3-day guest passes. Just a quick tip though, if you tell them that you can't afford it, they will make it cheaper for you. So argue yourself into a better deal...god bless haggling!

I have discovered that drug and other medical reps are the reasons why fat doctors and medical office workers exist. Case in point look at the joy and the danger of working in a medical office below:
Today a lady representing a MRI place we use dropped these and 2 more (which were devoured by Derek and I before pictures could be taken) off at our office. The pictures do them no justice. These were the most beautiful cupcakes I've ever seen, AND the lady even went to the trouble to put an "S!" on one of them in honor of me starting at the office. I have requested that she bring healthy stuff in the future to keep me from getting fat. Its nuts! We get stuff like this all day. Today people dropped off 4 cupcakes, 4 bags of Chex Mix, and 4 packages of cheese and peanut butter crackers, and today was a light day. They bring us lunch, smoothies, cookies, ice cream and any other junk you can imagine. I am starting a weight loss plan in the damn danger zone.

Finally, it must be mentioned that Abi is in town... YAY! Derek and I had the pleasure of having dinner with her, Chaz & Jill on Sunday. Whoo hoo. At least this "tropical storm" (if you can even call it that) had some benefit!

TTFN

Think the Meow Mix song, but with the "Meow" replaced with "Work" and you've got me

So heres the deal with work. It sucks... kinda. Its insanely hectic and I, the queen of multi-tasking, didn't even know the meaning of the word until I started working there. Plus, as if being thrown into a field that I know nothing about (I've never even seen a neurologist) isn't hard enough, I have to fix all the screw ups of the guy that was there before... joy! So its really stressful and I feel like I'm not learning fast enough, but I anticipate everything getting better over time as I transition. Well this was just a fast update because on top of getting to work early and leaving late I need NEED to watch the Olympics.

So TTFN

ps- If you need a reference for my title, this should ring a bell: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTunhRVyREU

Don't bother me, I'm watching the Olympics

Just as I am every 4 years, I have gone Olympics crazy. I LOVE the opening ceremonies, I like watching gymnastics and the other sports, but most of all (as you should expect) I LOVE LOVE LOVE watching swimming. This year, just as with Athens, I am obsessed with Michael Phelps. Good god the man is part fish. Did you know he has never NEVER lost the 400 IM? In fact he has broken his own record in it many many times including last night when he won his first (of eight I know) Gold medals for this Olympics.

Yum.

Have you ever heard of couples with lists of celebs that they would ok their partner gettin it on with? Well Derek and I discussed our list today. Here is mine:


1. David Bromstad- yes, I know he is most likely gay, but I just want the opportunity to get him to switch teams =)

2. Michael Phelps (shown above)- He is not even really attractive, but I just want to touch him. I want to feel the body that can go that fast and swim like that. I don't even really want to do him. I just want to touch him.


3. Bear Grylls- can a man be more manly? For goodness sake, his name is Bear! And as if that wasn't hot enough he has a British accent and always ALWAYS finds a way to get naked on his show (and let me tell you the blur is big lol). When I told Derek that Bear was on my list, Derek was like, "Go ahead! Hell I'd do him. The accent gets me." This is both proof that Derek is secure in his manhood, and that Bear is the ultimate in sexy. Hes so damn sexy he makes my uber-manly man hot! lol

Derek too has his list. As far as I know it includes:


1. Melissa Joan Heart- this picture graced his wall pre-me.

2. Robin Meade- shes on CNN Headline News' Morning Express, and he'd like her on him! lol

Ahh the things you'll discuss while bored in PSL!

I'm a workin' woman!

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I finally have a job!

So the craziness finally settled with my neurologist friend, and they hired me Monday. I didn't want to post anything until my first day because they had been so back and forth, but I started Friday (because I told the dad of the kids from hell I was never coming back). The office is a little hectic right now because their old guy didn't really do much and left it in a disarray (its basically an organizational freak like myself's nightmare), but I'm sure after a month or 2 all the kinks will be worked out, and I'll know what I'm doing and it'll all be dandy. Thank you all for supporting me, talking to friends about jobs for me, and reading my meltdowns. I should be more sane from here on out.

Keyword: should

TTFN

Screw Prada! The Devil Wears Disney Princesses

This week I found 2 reasons to run as fast as I can to a Dr who can tie my tubes--hell, I'm gonna ask the Dr to take them out just to be sure.

Sure they may look sweet and innocent, but a day with them tops a day in the deepest, darkest, hottest layer of hell. They're textbook divorce kids. They live with mom and see dad periodically. I can't speak for how they are with mom or how mom is with them, but all the fury of hell breaks loose when they're with dad. He found out he was going to get them for the week last minute, and because he just took time off work, he decided to have me watch them while he's at work instead of missing the opportunity to see them. But because he doesn't see them much he feels the need to let them do whatever they want whenever they want. He buys them toys nearly daily to fill the hole in his heart, and he never NEVER says no.

And then I arrive.

I am pretty easy going with kids and typically let them get away with a bit more than their parents do (or at least should) within reason. But everytime I'm there its apparent that they've never been forced to do anything they didn't want to do. Example: This morning little Miss Lucifer herself didn't want to brush her teeth. Both her and her brother informed me that dad doesn't make them brush their teeth in the morning, but while dad is perfectly ok with letting them have stinky breath and letting their teeth rot, I am not. So I inform her that whether she wants to or not she has to brush her teeth. This sends her into her first of many raging tantrums for the day. She screams, she bangs the floor, she throws anything near her, she punches me and spits on me, and this is all typical Miss Lucifer. So, kicking and screaming, I held her down and brushed her teeth. When I later informed her father of the incident, he told me not to bother with anything if she was going to get upset about it. He said that I can let things like teeth slide. WHAT?!? So if she grows older and murders a friend who took her toy and in the discipline process she screams its ok? Because thats the message you're sending her. He silently tells her and her equally obnoxious brother daily that if they throw a screaming fit they will get their way. PS- He took her to the toy store later on in the day despite reports of near constant tantrums.

Goodness gracious I can't stand crappy parents. I mean really, this child is only 2. Her insane actions aren't because she is inherently bad. She has learned these behaviors through shitty parenting. Too bad.

Well you've been warned. If you see these kids out and about, RUN.

I think I'm over my Chuck Norris kick now.

Please be advised that the following post is vulgar in nature and is not intended for children.
(Jill cover your belly when you read this)

WHAT THE GOD DAMN FUCK?!?!?! CAN NO ONE BE TRUSTED ANYMORE?!?! Why do people find it so amusing to take advantage of someone's trusting nature. I was supposed to get the word on whether or not my job was going to work out today. I had the day off and I had planned on hunting for jobs, but because I didn't want to get a job and then have to immediately quit it for this one, I didn't look at all today. Then I got a text message A FREAKING TEXT MESSAGE saying that he didn't have a definitive answer for me yet and that he'd call me on Monday. What reason do I have to believe him anymore? I was told months ago I had a job, then I was told that it might not work out, then I was told I'd get a CALL today with a definitive answer, and now I'm told I'll get a call Monday? I'm pissed. I'm at a point where if I get a job, even if its crappier, and he finally offers me the position I'd tell him to eat shit just because I'm pissed. I just feel like hes taking advantage of my situation, and I'm over it.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathe.

Rant over. The children may now renter the room, and Jill you may uncover your belly.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

There is a slight possibility that I have a job, and I will find out definitely on Friday either way. I don't want to post too much about it now because I fear that I'll jinx it.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Chuck Norris can slam a revovling door.

You are now entering the PANIC ZONE (enter at your own risk)

So yesterday morning the people who I puppysat for came home, but not before Derek and I could display our obsessions. Derek, while on the roof catching the dreaded frog, noticed that there was a hole in their gutter and that they were clogged up. So the next day he got out on the roof and fixed it.

Then, because I couldn't take it anymore, I cleaned the house. This swiffer was from a small portion of the floor... dirt and hair is a major enemy.

So now that we're coming up on my last week of lessons, I am in panic mode. After this week, I am unemployed, and my money will slowly, well probably quickly, dwindle until I screw both Derek and I (him because we share financial responsibilities) out of house and home and we end up homeless and dirty (eewww dirty). I'm not sure what to do. There are just no jobs out there, and I need to be making more money than I'm used to because I no longer have free government money to support me. In fact, I'll have to start paying back my loans, so I'm double screwed. I've started the hunt by looking into preschools (you know the place where my entire graduating class as well as a bunch of recently laid off experienced teachers are looking), no luck so far. I also joined nannies4hire.com although I'm finding out that nannies don't make shit for money (think $14,000-$19,000 a year for full time work). I'm incredibly stressed out. I freak every time I have to pay for anything, I jump on any ridiculous and undesirable effort to make money, and I am an overall cranky miserable wench.

Damn shitty economy.

Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Life without Internet is no Life at all

So our poor man's vacation hasn't been without our every day craziness. Here are a few details:

*On Sunday evening, as I was awaiting a pizza with some friends so we could start off our hot tub party, I got a call and discovered that the job I had set up isn't going to work out. That means after next week, I'm unemployed. Great way to start a party and semi-vacation no?

*I discovered that having one puppy is a lot of work and isn't always a good idea, and that having two puppies is only for the most insanely stupid people on the planet. Buy older dogs, or just one!

*The day before they left for vacation their backyard got hit by lightening, and they lost internet. And, as proof that there is no god, our internet went out too. So I had to go to friends' houses to use their's and spend many a day wondering if I am missing important swim business emails.

*Last night around 8 or so we started hearing this noise that we thought was a bird. The noise was TERRIBLE--it sounded like a car alarm. Then, around 1am the noise got really loud and woke us both up. At this point I was ready to lock and load and bring this species one bird closer to the all elusive extinction. Derek felt the same and decided to rid the area of this bird only to find out that it wasn't a bird at all. It was a frog, and it was sitting on the roof right by our window. So Derek sprayed some weed killer on it in an attempt to end its life, then he put it in some tupperware and put it on the front porch. It was still alive this morning, so Derek is going to let it go (well, hopefully he'll kill it) by his work--far from us! That freaking frog kept us both up for over 2 hours, and showed no signs of stopping until we went Chuck Norris on its ass and gave it the boot. This is what it looked like:

Derek heard that the Cuban Tree Frog was a bad thing and that people should kill it, but I looked it up and apparently this isn't it. However, I think we should all band together to spread out ads that this is the Cuban Tree Frog or maybe a close cousin to it and that it should be killed. We'll make up stories that it's poison kills babies, and we'll pay celebrities to get in on it and say that the poison nearly killed one of the many preggo celebs . We'll make t-shirts. We'll start websites. We'll run fancy commercials that will put the pres candidates' commercials to shame. And we'll get both of the pres candidates to back us too! If we band together we can get this P.O.S. frog well on its way to extinction.

Sorry--if you heard that damn thing, you'd rant a bit too.

We'll thats all for now, I'm off to tend to the puppies and look for jobs.

TTFN

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

The Poor Man's Vacation

Derek and I are currently, well once I start my big girl job, in the pursuit of the American dream-home ownership. Unfortunately there are drawbacks to this pursuit-- like a complete and total lack of mola and/or the unwillingness to spend it because you want a house slightly more than you want fun. However, Derek and I will not be suffering this summer. In fact, we get to go on a bit of a vacation and I'm getting paid for it. From yesterday to next Saturday morning, I am puppy sitting for a family in Stoneybrook that is on a cruise. Because their dogs are still puppies and require lots of attention, Derek and I have been invited to stay over their house, and we were given free range to everything...yes EVERYTHING. They even told us to feel free to empty out their extensive liquor cabinet. Its a pretty sweet deal. They have a flat screen HD TV and all the HD programming (although they have satellite...yuck), a pool and plenty of toys (as demonstrated by my lovely assistant above), a hot tub, a huge deck, and overall a huge house. This is the ultimate poor man's vacation. All the luxuries I could want and all I have to do is walk and feed the dogs, and feed the fish (its a sweet salt water tank too). Too bad part of the poor man's vacation involves not taking off work and only enjoying your fancy "hotel" in the mornings, on your lunch break, and in the evenings, but at least we have a full weekend here. So I'm off. I have a fruity cocktail and a cool pool awaiting me!

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of suprise.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!? ITS 8:14 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!!!

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Before I tell you about my very gay weekend, I should inform you that today I learned that although my car is fully capable of sputtering and stopping due to a lack of gas, it does not have a gas light. I learned this the hard way. Fortunately I have my knight in shining armor (well in green work shirt) to save the day, and in true perfect boyfriend form, when I asked him if he ever gets sick of having to come to my rescue he said no and that he enjoys it. Now thats a man looking to get some tonight!

Now...

The Gayest Night Ever

So a while ago my friend asked me if I would go to Pulse, a gay bar, with her and her co-worker (who is gay and new to the area, so he doesn't have any gay friends) on Friday. I figured it would be fun, so I got myself together and we were on our way. First we went to Hamburger Mary's which is apparently a gay hamburger joint downtown (who knew restaurants had sexual orientations).


While there we met this pack of cute gay boys who we asked about Pulse. They said it allowed kids 18 and up and so it had alot of young kids who would ask us to buy them booze. Then they told us they were going to Parliment House and asked us to join them, so we did. OMG! That place is a circus. Everywhere we went there was something crazy--a geriatric tranny, an old man dommie couple, a guy trying to look like 50 Cent (we called him 25 Cents), and so much more!

Here is the best part. While there I discovered that gay men LOVE boobs. I mean, as I was walking around, guys would just walk up to me, squeeze my boobs, and tell me I'm gorgeous. I even had a gay man motor boat my boobs. Best part, they bought me drinks!! I was saying, "My Boobs are like Visa, they're accepted everywhere." (which is why I want my photoshop back, so I can make a boob visa card). Who knew the trick to getting to get guys to pay for your drinks was going to a gay bar! I have never had more fun in my life than I did at that gay bar!!! Anywho, here are some of the pics for your enjoyment.

There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

This weekend ROCKED!! Yesterday Sydni, who is a girl that I babysit for and whose family is more like my own than the one I was born into, came over for the day to play. I had 2 exciting projects for us to do. First I showed her how to use my sewing machiene and she made 2 pillows--one for her and one for her brother.

Then we baked a cake that she decorated totally by herself. She wanted to decorate it like a birthday cake since her brother's birthday is next week. How sweet! It was so much fun having her over, and she totally loved sewing! She'll definitely be over again!



The other part of my weekend I will post about once I get the pictures from my neighbor (I got to a point in my intoxication that evening where I decided to let others handle the picture taking), but lemmie tell you I have never had more fun in my life than I did on Friday night, and it all started when I noticed my drink matched my dress...


=) TTFN

ps- I switched back to photobucket instead of Flickr because I can easily post multiple pics in my blog without signing up for yet another site or program. I like Flickr, but it doesn't really suit my needs.

pps- I think for a little while I am going to use hilarious Chuck Norris facts for my titles

ppps- I really wish I still had photoshop on my comp--thats the one bummer to my new one. I need a new photoshop disc asap!!

The dream lost

Today was the first time it hit me--I'm not going to be a teacher. Its strange because since middle school, without wavering, I've known that I wanted to teach young children in some capacity. With the whole teaching thing going to hell in a hand basket, I knew I needed other options. I've been so focused on just getting a job that it didn't even matter what I was doing. And I was genuinely excited about working for the neurologist's office, but suddenly I've realized that the dream is lost and I can't have it back for a while. I'm still somewhat excited to work at the neurologist's office because it will be easier, has the potential to pay better, and has better hours, but I can't help but feel odd leaving teaching behind. It feels like a piece of me (a piece that has collected 3 bed bins and 4 storage tubs of stuff) has been cut out. I have hope though, that one day I will be in front of my very own classroom. One day...

TTFN

July 4th and "friends"

The 4th was fun! We hung out with my future bosses and their 5 kids in Avalon. We grilled out, then ate my delicious red, white, and blue cupcakes.

Played the coolest new thing on the planet--the Wii Fit.


Played with sparklers.


And watched the fireworks from the 2nd floor. (This was the first year I didn't sweat or swat bugs while watching fireworks!)


It was fun, but I can't help thinking we invited ourselves over. It seems lately like thats the only way we hang with "friends" anymore. I'm not quite sure what it is that people dislike so much about us but it seems that we're always on the back burner, if we're even on the oven at all. I only have friends who call when they need help with a class that they would fail without me, or friends who suddenly want to hang out with me and then reveal that they/their friend/their relative needs swim lessons or a babysitter. I feel like people only hang out with me out of pity or because they want something from me. Do I have some sort of terrible character flaw that I am unaware of? Do I smell bad? Am I weird or uncool? What is the freaking problem?!?!? I'm really frustrated, and to top it all off, it recently occurred to me that it won't change anytime soon. I always figured all this crap would end when I started teaching because I'd make teacher friends, but now I'm going to work for someone where I'm the only employee--no coworker friends for me.

I guess I'll just have to learn to enjoy weekend nights at home eating frozen pizzas and watching TiVo. They're not bad, but I wish there was an option to at least enjoy the TiVo with some company once and a while.