Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Life without Internet is no Life at all

So our poor man's vacation hasn't been without our every day craziness. Here are a few details:

*On Sunday evening, as I was awaiting a pizza with some friends so we could start off our hot tub party, I got a call and discovered that the job I had set up isn't going to work out. That means after next week, I'm unemployed. Great way to start a party and semi-vacation no?

*I discovered that having one puppy is a lot of work and isn't always a good idea, and that having two puppies is only for the most insanely stupid people on the planet. Buy older dogs, or just one!

*The day before they left for vacation their backyard got hit by lightening, and they lost internet. And, as proof that there is no god, our internet went out too. So I had to go to friends' houses to use their's and spend many a day wondering if I am missing important swim business emails.

*Last night around 8 or so we started hearing this noise that we thought was a bird. The noise was TERRIBLE--it sounded like a car alarm. Then, around 1am the noise got really loud and woke us both up. At this point I was ready to lock and load and bring this species one bird closer to the all elusive extinction. Derek felt the same and decided to rid the area of this bird only to find out that it wasn't a bird at all. It was a frog, and it was sitting on the roof right by our window. So Derek sprayed some weed killer on it in an attempt to end its life, then he put it in some tupperware and put it on the front porch. It was still alive this morning, so Derek is going to let it go (well, hopefully he'll kill it) by his work--far from us! That freaking frog kept us both up for over 2 hours, and showed no signs of stopping until we went Chuck Norris on its ass and gave it the boot. This is what it looked like:

Derek heard that the Cuban Tree Frog was a bad thing and that people should kill it, but I looked it up and apparently this isn't it. However, I think we should all band together to spread out ads that this is the Cuban Tree Frog or maybe a close cousin to it and that it should be killed. We'll make up stories that it's poison kills babies, and we'll pay celebrities to get in on it and say that the poison nearly killed one of the many preggo celebs . We'll make t-shirts. We'll start websites. We'll run fancy commercials that will put the pres candidates' commercials to shame. And we'll get both of the pres candidates to back us too! If we band together we can get this P.O.S. frog well on its way to extinction.

Sorry--if you heard that damn thing, you'd rant a bit too.

We'll thats all for now, I'm off to tend to the puppies and look for jobs.

TTFN